dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
