woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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