Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
