So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
