its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
