So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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