Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
