So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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