i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
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