So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
