omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
