I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
