Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
