it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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