i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
