You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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