Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
