I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
