am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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