you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
