I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
