Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
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