You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
