Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
