I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
