dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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