In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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