Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
