But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
