fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
