Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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