so explain again why im purple
no
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
