how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
