Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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