its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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