What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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