pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
