At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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