Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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