and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
