What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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