Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
