Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
