Who did Billy Mays play for?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
