it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
