I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
