You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
