don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
