just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
