Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
