oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
